Middle School (ages 11-13) – Cultivating Communities for Change

Middle School

11–13 years of age

Pre-teen and young teen years begin a child’s work towards identity formation and independence. Puberty and hormonal changes that may have emerged in late childhood increase in intensity. Pre-teens and young teens undergo many rapid changes in their thinking, their bodies, and their social interactions. As they begin to consider others’ perspectives, brain development and increased emotional intelligence leads pre-teens to make decisions with more nuanced reasoning. Alongside these new developments come changes in emotional state as they begin to assert their independence from parents and focus their attention on navigating through peer social groups at school.

Milestones

Developmental Milestones

The following milestones, including cognitive, social/emotional, and physical domains, are markers of a child’s development from infancy on into adolescence. They are used to help determine if a child is undergoing typical development and/or if support may be helpful for them.

Milestones

What is happening cognitively?

Cognitive skills continue to expand in the early teenage years. During this period, pre-teen brains begin the process of strengthening connections that are used often while also pruning away those that are used less often, making our brains more efficient over time.

Pre-teens and young teens often make impulsive decisions or take risks due to changes in brain structure, function, organization, and chemical activity which may lead to blending strong emotions with logical thinking as they develop their own sense of right and wrong. Because of this, parents can anticipate receiving pushback from their children as they look to take on more responsibilities, experience mood swings, and engage in impulsive or risky behaviors.

At the same time, children grow more considerate as they begin to empathize with other perspectives, understand complex problems using abstract reasoning, and realize the consequences of their actions for themselves and other people. Pre-teens and early teens are also beginning to learn from these risks and develop their ability to think more logically, understand emotional cues, and see the world from different perspectives.

Typically pre-teens and young teens at this developmental stage may begin to:

take primary responsibility for their school assignments and daily living
reason through/anticipate the consequence of choices and make adjustments accordingly (e.g., to avoid getting in trouble)
increase their problem-solving abilities
take on different perspectives
challenge the reasoning behind rules and societal standards
push back against caregivers and assert independence

think further into the future and create plans for future achievements
understand and use sarcasm or idioms
engage in more impulsive and risky behaviors
develop their own morals, values, and sense of justice
envision how others perceive them
blend logic and emotion in their decision making

keyboard_arrow_down See more

Milestones

What is happening socially and emotionally?

TO BE ADDED!

Typically at this developmental stage, a child will begin to:

increase their desire for independence
work on finding a friend group where they feel they belong
try different clothing styles and hobbies
question who they are and what values matter to them
become invested in different subcultures
explore sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender presentation
want more privacy from family/expresses boundaries

experience fluctuations in mood/mood swings
develop increasing knowledge about and experience with romantic relationships and sex
masturbate in private
show affection (e.g., hugging or kissing) to peers their age
take “sexy” photos of themselves while clothed
be self-conscious and experience conflict with self-image/self-confidence
understand and replicate social or emotional cues

keyboard_arrow_down See more

Milestones

What is happening physically?

During children’s pre-teenage and early teenage years, they will be right in the middle of puberty. While puberty starts at various ages, between 8 and 14 years of age, the majority of youth will have started puberty. During puberty, the body begins to produce increased amounts of hormones, prompting rapid growth spurts and development. This comes along with shifts in height, weight, body shape, the appearance of body hair, sweat production, and acne. Girls might get their periods and develop breasts, while boys might begin growing facial hair or hear their voice change.

Typically at this developmental stage children experience:

hormonal changes leading to physical development/puberty
increased importance of hygiene becomes as sweat production and body odors increase
increases in overall muscle mass and strength
changes in sleep patterns with teens requiring 8-10 hours of sleep
clumsiness as they adjust to their body’s rapid changes

changes in voice with some deepening more than others
acne
increases in body hair
development of secondary sexual characteristics, resulting in the budding of breasts, descent of the testes, and other similar changes
menarche, with menstrual cycles becoming more regular in frequency

keyboard_arrow_down See more

Mind the Signs

Adults and caregivers in a child’s life can keep an eye out for the following concerns that caregivers or children might have. Items under typical worries, such as separation anxiety or fear of the bath, are expected in infants and toddlers and are likely to go away with time. Items under warning signs, such as withdrawing from certain people or showing little interest in playing, might be a sign that something more serious is going on in a child’s life. If your child is exhibiting a behavior under the warning signs category and you are concerned, you should contact your child’s pediatrician or a professional of your choice for guidance.

Typical or Expected Worries:

Being self-conscious about their body developing or starting their period
Fitting in with their peer group
Comparison on social media
Having the same level of independence as their peers
Whether to engage in parties, drinking, or smoking
Taking risks
Being bullied at school or online
Crushes and romantic relationships
Getting homework done
Being safe at school
Death and dying
Not having enough privacy
Whether they will be accepted for their sexuality or gender identity

Warning Signs

Acting younger than their age
Withdrawing from their social groups, both gradually and suddenly
Sudden change in clothing, sleep habits, appetite, activities, or school work
Actively and persistently avoiding certain activities, places, or people
Spending lots of time online or is secretive about their online activities
Risky sexual behaviors such as unprotected sexual activity, public sexual activity, or sexual activity that results in self-harm
Fixation on sex (can be seen in language, persistent questions, drawings, etc.) or masturbation to the extent that it impacts other aspects of their life
Signs of a sexually transmitted infection or urinary tract infection; missed period
Engage in sexually inappropriate behavior that violates the consent of others
Spend large amounts of time with older peers or people to the point where they become isolated from peers their age
Experience physical symptoms such as nausea or pain they can’t explain well